They stare at me while i.. crave you.

Wow, been a long long time since my last post! time flies, or it's just me? :D

i've been drowned in hecticness recently, and, to be honest, i am quite enjoying that kind of situation. if you know me well enough, you'll see that there are no way this talkative, hyperactive, fat-but-not-realizing-the-fact boy is going to settle down a bit for a midday chat, unless i'm very very 'empty'.

but hey, i'm back :D

thanks to one of my friend who tweeted abt her wanting to blog earlier, i finally connect my lame computer to my other lame modem and super lame internet provider. sitting here in my room, a boxered-boy sipping a cup of hot tea, writing these.

Now. what the heck with the title?

maybe some of you have heard a song called 'crave you' by flight facilities, and maybe some others havent. honestly, ive been listening this song a couple of times before, but i havent really really pay attention to the words in it.

until yesterday. and OH MY GOD i love it.

so here's the deal, please read the lyrics while thinking of you (if you're a girl) and of a girl you adore (in case you're a boy).

lyrics: (credit to www.metrolyrics.com)

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I walked into the room dripping in gold
Yeah dripping in gold
I walked into the room dripping in gold
Dripping in gold
A wave of heads did turn, or so I've been told
Or so I've been told
My heart broke when I saw you kept your gaze controlled
Oh I cannot solve

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

It's true I crave you
Crave You
It's true I crave you

Let's just stop and think, before I lose face
Surely I can't fall, into a game of chase
Around his little finger, that boy has got me curled
I try to reach out, but he's in his own world
This boy's got my head tied in knots with all his games
I simply want him more because he looks the other way

Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I stare at you
Why can't I keep you safe as my own?
One moment I have you the next you are gone
Rehearsed steps on an empty stage
That boy's got my heart in a silver cage
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I crave you

I am craving you

sounds familiar? :D i can't stop my mind from wandering around.

you see, i had some experiences that involves 'girls' and 'crushes'. we all know where it's going to lead right? i mean me (and probably 90% of other boys) got our eyes struck on a girl, a fascinating girl who had a beautiful smile, or beautiful hair, or whatever. we adore her appearance. we got the sense of feelings that something is gonna come out from our tummy, and we're pretty sure it's not that crappy burgers that we ate for lunch.

so, what is it?

i avoid that 4-letters word. save it for the last. i prefer to describe it as "Cliche Repetition of Unnecessary Symptoms in Heart', which lead us back to.. crush.

yep, we all did, we all did.

and all i tried is being nice to the girl, asked her politely, sneaked across her just to see her face, texted her, bla bla bla. and what i got in the end? not far from 'sorry' and 'buhbye'. LMAO. but those experiences told me few things, some theories that i haven't proved yet... until i heard this song.

gilrs looove to be abandoned

gilrs looove to feel like she's unimportant

girls are dying for a boy that doesn't even know how to treat a girl right

and more importantly, pretty girls love boys that.. not into her at all.

is that true? it's all your decisions :D

but some advice for you IF you're a girl who think my idea was true, sometimes you gotta open your eyes a bit to see a boy that has always been there beside you, whom you know had fallen his heart for you. quit your adventure a bit, coz life is not all about looking for a new challenge. at least at this case. :)

and for you boys.. a sentence: dont.be.too.obvious!

they know it. they know you got your eyes on her, and crushing like hell on her. but being too good to a girl will onloy brings you to be her best friend, not her lover. if you want to be her lover, just be her friend. not the best one. ready?:D

love is also like a box of chocolate. you'll never know what you gonna get.

good luck fellas! enjoy your journey, i believe you'll get 'the one' one day! :D

and for you, yes you. they do stare at me, while i.. crave you :)

random headthoughts

and here we are, waiting inside this internet cafe to fill in our study card for this semester. it's so FRUSTRATING!

The Square Root of Three

I’m sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that’s good and right
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I’ll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed




An awesome poem by Dave Feinberg! I fell in love since the first time I heard it on 'Harold and Kumar - Escape From The Guantanamo Bay'. Enjoy.. :)

Sky

I once dreamed to be a pilot.

Why? Maybe other people that have the same future goals, have many reasons for that. Wether it's money, pride, or else.

Me? I didn't use to think that way. I simply wanna fly. Fly, up up and away, up and up in the sky. I used to envy the birds. They can go anywhere, anytime they want. All they need is stretch out their wings, and, poof!

Eventhough planes can't easily took off like birds did, but at least it's the closest thing that human can get, in their dream to reach the sky.

And in my vivid imagination, i can imagine myself, surrounded by thick white clouds and light-blue sky. Well err and so many control panel and screen for the plane, though ;)

But as i grow up, i began to change my determination. Yeah, i went to uni, and choose the major that i like WITH so many other consideration. I like it here, but sometimes at my first term my old dream keep showing up in my brain.

One day, i met my mom's old friend. He got his master degree in Engineering. He told me after two year working in somekind of automotive company, he decided to quit and worked in a bank. Why? He said he love his old job, but he was offered a better payment and better facilities in his new office. He said living your dream job is good, but exploring your abilities to the limit is even better. Oh yeah FYI, he has been very scintillating in his position, in bank.

After that talk, as always, my mind start to travel. I thought about sky, pilot, my uni, my friends.

And i began to smile. I guess i gotta find my own 'sky'. Not literally this time, i guess. But it better be better than the real one! :)

*I got an idea to write this post when i was waiting for my mom at the airport, and want to the waving pavilion for the first time of my life! THANKS A BUNCH for visiting my blog, folks..

A little note from Yogyakarta.

Gw agak bingung buat isi postingan ketiga gw ini. Yah, technically yang kedua sih, secara kan gw baru say hi di postingan yang pertama. hehehe. Tapi setelah gw pikirpikir kayaknya gw gatel pengen bahas dikit soal trip gw kemarin keeeee JOGJA! *claphands* Perjalanan lintas budaya. Apart of the fact that my country is sooo rich in culture, beberapa hari yang lalu gw pergi ke salah satu kota yang notabene punya ciri khas sendiri, yang mencolok.

Kalo baca judul post ini, pasti kebayang deh beberapa hal yang identik sama Jogja. Gudeg, nasi kucing, susu segar (YUM!) andong, keraton, banyak deh. yeah well emang hal - hal itu udah jadi pemandangan umum disana. Di trip gw yang baru aja lewat pun gw ga mau missed the opportunities to try those things! I'm a big fan of milk, dan disana gw bisa jajan susu setiap malem. kembung kembung deh. belom lagi nasi gudeg dan nasi kucing yangsangatmurahtapigaenak. a nice place to gain your weight, without wasting too much money.

skip skip. kok malah ngomongin makanan. hihi.

ohya, kemarin gw kesana dalam rangka studi banding dari VOMS radio, organisasi yang gw ikutin di kampus. FYI, ini baru tahun pertama gw dan gw udah ngerasa banyak banget benefit yang gw dapet dari situ :) NAH karena labelnya 'studi banding', pasti dong gw mutermuter ke beberapa radio di Jogja sana, such as Swara Gama radio, Geronimo radio, Magenta radio, dan beberapa radio lain. Pas pertama kali main ke radio - radio itu, first thing that popped out in my mind tuh announcer dan crew disana RAMAH BANGET! bayangin aja, kita yang udah puas meratakan bokong di bis yang agak biadab (it really is! soundtracknya : mau dibawa kemanaaaaa) disuguhin kue bolu 2 box + chips di Magenta radio. you guys rock deh pokoknya!

And you know, Jakarta's people should learn a lot about kindness and tolerance from Jogjanesse. mereka ramah banget, gak pelit sama ilmu. Dan yang paling gw suka, mereka gak rasis. Mereka nganggep kita sama, walaupun ada yang warna kulitnya beda lah, beda bentuk mata, lah. Sebuah kultur yang udah agak pudar di daerah perkotaan (kelewat) gede kayak di Jakarta.

Hari - hari berikutnya di Jogja kali ini agak beda sama pas gw pergi kesana bareng keluarga, or temen - temen gw dulu. Sabtu (26/6) jalan malioboro ditutup, gara - gara ada pawai kebudayaan yang disponsorin sama salah satu pabrikan motor gitu. yaah, promosi deh. tapi gw tertarik sama beberapa hal disana. Nih gw kasih fotonya buat kalian semua :D

in picture : women and men dressed up in batik that sewed in many shape, most of them looks like a butterfly or sth.

See? This picture shows a little about anti - racism among Jogjanesse.

Nah, itu sebagian yang gw berhasil jepret pake kamera 2mpix gw. Gw sempet mikir kalo ini adalah hal paling spesial yang (mungkin) bisa gw dapet di Jogja. TAPI TERNYATA GW SALAH!! Takdir berkata lain (ceileh) karena di malem harinya gw sama beberapa temen gw yang sama sama insomnia, berlabil ria naik andong ke alun - alun selatan Keraton Yogyakarta. Dimana gw dapet info, ada sebuah 'game' yang seru. bukan, jangan ngebayangin ada jetski atau airsoft gun disini secara game nya itu tradisional banget, yaitu jalan lewatin dua pohon dengan mata ketutup.. Rulesnya simple aja, mata gw ditutup dan gw harus jalan dari jarak sekian meter ke arah tengah - tengah dua pohon gede gitu. Kalo berhasil, mitosnya apa yang gw pingin bisa terkabul.

'Ah, GAMPANG.' batin gue.

Pas prakteknya, gw sengaja gamau duluan mainnya. Gw mau nonton dulu, sambil merancang strategi yang pas. wetseh. iya dong butuh strategi. biar gahul gitu loch.

Kloter pertama dilepas, duaorang temen gw coba jalan. apa mereka berhasil? NGGAK. salah satu temen gw malah nyasar jauuuh banget dan beda arah. begitu pula dengan 4 temen gw yang coba di kloter kedua en ketiga. sampe akhirnya tibalah giliran gw.

Gw tentuin arah gw sebelom ditutup matanya, terus sekalian sumpel kuping gw biar ga banyak gangguan.terus gw jalan.

"kok ga nyampe - nyampe ya?"

Tiba - tiba gw denger orang teriak STOOOOP! dari kiri kanan gw. suara temen temen gw. oh my, gagal nih kayaknya, pikir gw. yaudahlah, gw buka tutup mata gw.

And you know what? I made it loh ^^

Gw dan yosua (temen gw yang jalan bareng gw) dua - duanya bisa ngelewatin tantangan itu. di percobaan pertama. quite making me happy, i guess :D

Habis udah capek mainmain semua, gw sama temen temen gw duduk - duduk di lesehan pinggir jalan di deket alun - alun. kita pesen makanan ringan, such as ropang atau mie instan. Baru juga duduk, dateng dua pengamen yang udah ready mau nyanyi. Gw langsung males. Gabisa liat orang tenang deh, pikir gw.

Dan gitar pun dipetik.

You close your eyes

And leave me naked by your side

You close the door so I can’t see

The love you keep inside

The love you keep for me

Anjiiiirrrr!! Gw shock deh. Mereka nyanyi lagunya Saybia yang judulnya The second you sleep, dan english mereka patut diacungi jempol. Gw enjoy, enjoy banget sampe ga sadar gw ikut sing along bareng mereka. Suara mereka juga gak jelek, semua serba pas, pas buat nemenin malem hari di Jogja. Pas buat nemenin mie instan ayam nspesial dan es jeruk gw. yum :9

ai steeeiiii tu watch yu fed eweiiiii..... (eh yang ngamen yang di belakang ya, yang pake kacamata n kayak artis hongkong itu temen gw :p)

And next, gw juga sempet motret satu hal yang sama sama kebudayaan kita di jakarta : breaking the rules.

note : liat plang warna biru nya ya

I gues i wont go to Jogja in a quite long time. Gonna miss the stars in the middle of the night, gonna miss the smell of horse crap (--") and miss the time we had together, VOMS crew.

Udah ah, mau siaran dulu. TTYL guys! :*

Perempuan Dimataku

Kalo lagi di jalan sendirian, gw suka mikir sendiri. ga peduli naik apa, gw cenderung daydreaming, bengong. Tentang banyaaak banget hal yang seliweran, randomly changed inside my head. Playing with my thoughts and memories.

Dan tadi siang, di cd changer gw lagi diputer lagunya John Mayer yang judulnya Daughter, pas gw lagi berenti di lampu merah Grogol. It's a place where you can easiliy find orphans, juga anak - anak terlantar yang ga diurus sama orang tuanya. Mereka seringkali mengintip ke dalem kaca mobil, sambil ngetuk-ngetuk kaca, berharap si empunya mobil kasihan, atau minimal, takut mobilnya dibaretin pake batu.

Tadi gw ngeliat beberapa anak lagi main di trotoar. mungkin umur mereka baru 4-5 tahun, yang paling gede mungkin 7 tahun. You know what are they saying to each other? yah.. let's say itu kata - kata yang ga pantes diucapin, even kalo yang ngucapin itu orang tua sekalipun. Do they really know what those words means?

Pas mobil belok ke arah Roxy, di pinggir jalan gw ngeliat pemandangan yang lebih.. well.. what can i say? Ada segrup orang yang pake baju dan celana yang kotor banget, kayaknya disengaja. ada yang pake anting segede gelang, ada yang cat rambut, ada yang tatto di muka. macem - macem deh. Punks, they refer themself as. Dan diantara cowok - cowok 'keren' (karena banyak yang bilang badboys itu keren), terseliplah beberapa orang perempuan. With the same dirty shirt. with the same tatto. Dan gw langsung mikir, ironis banget. Apa aja yang udah terjadi sama mereka? Apa yang bikin mereka idup kayak gitu? Siapa yang harus disalahin atas kondisi itu?

Well, gw cuma bisa nanya sama bunga - bungaan diatas dashboard mobil.

"Fathers, be good to your daughters

Daughters will live like you do

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers

So mothers, be good to your daughters too"

Perempuan sering dibilang makhluk lemah, butuh perlindungan, dsb. dan jujur, gw setuju sama cara berpikir konservatif gitu. Ets, jangan salah dulu. Gw punya banyaaak banget temen cewek yang bisa buktiin kalo cewek itu tough, gabutuh yang namanya cowok, independent, etc. Apalagi kalo masalah pacar, trust me mereka benerbener tough! :) Ada yang kampanyein go green dan juga ngelakuin go green di kesehariannya, ada yang super pinter fisika atau astronomi, you name it. Ada yang jago Tae Kwon Do, ada yang hobi travelling keluar negri tanpa ada temen cowok, ada yang hobi makan wortel pula! itu si lola, almarhum kelinci gw.

Banyak deh pokoknya.

Tapi gw juga selalu mikir, ga mungkin cowok diciptain kalo gak dibutuhin cewek. Cowok dibutuhin cewek karena mereka butuh perlindungan. Butuh tangan yang bisa bantu mereka kalo mereka hampir jatoh di eskalator gara - gara heels yang ketinggian, atau buat ngambilin barang yang terlalu tinggi untuk dijangkau. Sebaliknya, cowok juga butuh cewek. kenapa? kapankapan gw bahas deh. hihi.

"Boys, you can break

You'll find out how much they can take

Boys will be strong

And boys soldier on

But boys would be gone without the warmth from

A womans good, good heart"

Am i too naive? that's my opinion, though :)

Yah, finally i wanna give this little messages to all girls who are accidentally read my blog. Your parents only can take care of you at your childhood. The rest? It's all yours. Your hand determine your future. Respect yourself, and everybody will respect you in return. :)

Karena kalian, kayak kata lagu berikut dari CD gw, is simply "Worthy"!

*courtesy : A Woman's Worth - Alicia Keys